I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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