So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
