I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
