So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
it's great music for shaving your balls
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
