Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Houston, we have a squirter
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
