I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I could fuck to npr.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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