saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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