There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
His nipple licking is glorious
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