We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
