We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
