I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
