I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
