Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I want a musical about memes.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
