its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize