is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
