her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
