The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
