At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
