I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
