winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
