Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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