My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
