so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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