That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize