I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
look no pants
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
