Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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