I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Two words: blizzard sex
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
