this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
