Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She even gives head with a lisp.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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