The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
