fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If that was your dad, he is hot
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
