Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
