he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
