I'm eating all of the evidence.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
