Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My breasts were aching with rage.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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