No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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