Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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