I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
