She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
