I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize