what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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