onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
our cab driver is having phone sex.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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