I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
