If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
