so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
All the doctor said was why
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
