i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
