Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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