She just used a chaser for red wine.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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