You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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