**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
