So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
