Christians are straight up FREAKS
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
