Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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