So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
