if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
