I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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