I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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