ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
