already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
