I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
